“Rather than wishing and aiming to be the favorite or front-runner, you should crave to be the underdog or, more specifically, have the mind of one.”

Preface

I think we’ve all had that illogical and negative feeling on some level or another when somebody other than us achieves or trumps something: feelings of insecurity or inferiority, or both. I know I’ve had it.

This somebody can be whoever, and their achievement can be whatever (something we’ve attained or not). In the end, neither of these things matters because, for some reason, our brain can perceive their accomplishment as a sort of personal attack on our equanimity, which could cause us to be bitter, among other things. Though let’s be honest, this “personal attack” is purely our delusion¹. A so-called non-sequitur probably caused because we tend to compare ourselves to others (i.e., the social comparison theory).

When this happens, you should do some mental alchemy and convert that feeling of insecurity, inferiority, or self-consciousness to inspiration. Be inspired by that somebody and strive to be even better!

This is called healthy competition, which, by the way, doesn’t have to be actual competition but something that exists solely in your mind where, instead of being the favorite, you’re the underdog.

Why

One of the reasons why we feel like this might be related to the concept of the ego. For example, when you’re a perfectionist (or preferably a high-achiever) in an environment without “healthy competition” for a long time (e.g., a couple of years), you get accustomed to it, and your ego grows unexpectedly. You might not even realize this until someone as capable (or more) as you shows up. This could damage your inflated ego because you’re not the one and only “that guy” anymore. In other words, your self-concept hasn’t been stress-tested.

The negative effects that this so-called cognitive distortion causes are neither healthy nor productive. It’s irrational. Losing your presence of mind and feeling insecure because someone has overcome weaknesses and gotten more competent signifies a weakness in your character. A man of confidence and self-assurance knows not to fret. Why would he? That other person isn’t him² and, as the stoic quote goes:

“The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity.”

—Seneca

One of the most essential things to extrapolate from this quote is that when you see or hear someone struggle to overcome adversity, let it be a catalyst for inspiration and motivation and not for feelings of inferiority, bitterness, or envy.

If you succeed in this, well, you’ve just found yourself an external source that fills up your curiosity, focus, and commitment tanks like no other. And, for me, it’s one hell of a source because it’s actually the number one coefficient in my burnout resistance.

In this healthy competition, rather than wishing and aiming to be the favorite or front-runner, you should crave to be the underdog or, more specifically, have the mind of one.

1. Nobody’s watching out for the underdog.
2. All the odds are against the underdog.
3. Failures cost the underdog less than they do for the favorite.
4. The underdog can experiment more and play risky.
5. The underdog gets burnt out at a slower rate.
6. The underdog can watch and learn from the favorite.
7. The underdog has a measurable, concrete, and practical growth goal: get even with or surpass the favorite.

How

In all honesty, I can’t say for certain because the ego is very complex, even for psychologists. I don’t know of any blueprint with practical steps to balance and cure it. What I can do, however, is postulate that deliberately having the mindset of an underdog leads to a stance that could both resist ego inflation and deflate it and lead to a better performance.

Here’s how you should internally react:

1. Don’t tie your self-worth to being number one because a single better performer can crash it.
   Underdogs are never mentally number one.
2. When someone overcomes adversity and attains something and/or outperforms you, and you start feeling that irrational self-doubt, envy, or insecurity creep up, smile and thank them in your mind³. This minimizes zero-sum thinking, which is a common fallacy.
   Underdogs always have something to gain when someone else succeeds. Any envy is benign.
3. Don’t be the “smartest guy in the room.” You don’t know absolute smartness until you’ve seen/heard it with your own eyes/ears.
   Underdogs always aim to be in rooms where they are, well, the underdogs.
4. Remember that when another person overcomes an obstacle, they have probably suffered on some level. It doesn’t matter if they suffered less, as much, or more than you.
   Underdogs see the beauty in voluntary suffering to overcome adversity, which naturally commands both inspiration and motivation.
5. Listen, watch, and learn. When someone “shocks” you with their work, don’t dismiss it mentally. Be curious and perspicacious. Find out how they came up with their work, what techniques they utilized, and, most importantly of them all, try to understand their work on both a practical and theoretical level⁴.
   Underdogs never let new knowledge be filtered out through their egos. Admirable brilliance fuels their curiosity. They pull out the mechanisms (practicality) from the idea (abstraction).

These are just some of the “tenets” off the top of my mind I’ve learned during my journey. I’ll add more when they manifest themselves to me.

Conclusion

In the end, this might boil down to one of those just-do-it kind of things when someone shocks your self-concept or ego: just be positively inspired instead of negatively affected⁵. But this was too abstract, so I thought of a more concrete model: be the underdog. I believe this is a beneficial concrete/practical response to the irrational and unhealthy “sting” someone unintentionally causes.

So, the next time you feel that sting, smile and be thankful because that sting should remind you that you’re the underdog.

Lastly, let me be clear: being the underdog doesn’t mean you can’t be a competent expert. It doesn’t mean you exhibit learned helplessness. The cold hard fact is that we’re all underdogs in the end. There’s always somebody more skilled than us. Somebody who’s absolutely smarter and wiser than us. If we’re all underdogs in position, why not adopt the healthy identity of an underdog? After all, as Socrates said:

“The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”

Footnotes

1. This is somewhat similar to some people’s “people are watching my every move” delusion. Let’s be honest; it’s highly probable that nobody is paying attention to you in the gym or supermarket. ︎
2. This reminds me of jealousy. Every time someone speaks about being jealous or at the very least seems to be jealous, I blurt out: “Why would you be jealous to someone who isn’t you?” ︎
3. Even better, you could tell them that they did a good job! Although, this one is up to you because I know how annoying and disrespectful it is to say “good job” to someone and not receive even a small “thank you” back… ︎
4. Depending on the size and complexity of their work, this might be a lifelong herculean task. So, for practicality, aim to gain at least an understanding on a practical level because it can inform theory. ︎
5. This is closely related to the stoic principle known as “Power Over Your Mind”, which comes from Marcus Aurelius’ book of Meditations (Book Eight, Section 47): “External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now. If the problem is something in your own character, who’s stopping you from setting your mind straight?” ︎